Man On The Flake

This guy asked me out and suggested we meet up after his dentist appointment. He said he'd call around 2 p.m. Well, at 9:30 p.m., I got a "Hey" text from him and didn't respond. A friend said I shouldn't write him off so fast. Am I being too harsh?

--Dependability Fan

Individual bits of behavior are like cockroaches. You might see just one lonely roach twerking atop the toaster oven, but its presence suggests a whole colony of the buggers...gluing sequins to their exoskeletons and practicing their moonwalk behind the baseboard. No, you can't always judge someone by a single thing they do, but this guy's one-word text -- seven hours after he said he'd call -- speaks volumes: "Holy moly, wouldya look at the time. It's 9:30, and I could use some sex." How a person behaves is driven by their personality traits, which social psychologist Brent Roberts describes as habitual patterns of thoughts, feelings, and behavior that are relatively consistent across time and situations. Granted, there are occasions when impulse gets the best of us, and we'll say something like, "That wasn't really me." But, at least in some way, it really was, because even impulsivity is part of personality. A person can resolve to act more conscientiously, but personality has a strong genetic basis, so they're unlikely to be as motivated to be conscientious as someone whose genes make them feel icky when they aren't. In other words, you were probably wise in nixing this guy, who couldn't even be bothered to fake respect for your feelings by supplementing that "Hey" with "Carjacked!" "Carried off by a raptor!" or "Still high on anesthesia in my blanket fort, having a tea party with G.I. Joe and my dog, Steve."